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Bless his heart, there goes Governor Ned Lamont, the silver-spoon Democrat who's never met a photo op he couldn't exploit. On August 5, 2025, our billionaire-in-chief sauntered into Torrington's Friendly Hands Food Bank for a grand tour of their shiny new expansion—courtesy of a $2 million from the state. He's all smiles, praising the volunteers for feeding 11,000 hungry mouths a month, as if exploding demand for free groceries is some kind of victory lap. "Hunger shouldn't be a challenge anyone in our state should have to face," he crooned on Instagram, like a Hallmark card come to life. Well, Governor, if that's true, why are we flexing about a bigger pantry? This isn't leadership; it's like showing up to cut the ribbon on a supersized homeless shelter. "Congrats on the upgrade—sorry about all those extra bums!"
It's downright bizarre. In the land of steady habits, we've got a governor celebrating the symptoms of his own policy failures. Lamont's Connecticut is where liberal dreams go to die—or at least to beg for scraps. Homelessness? Oh, it's booming like a bad investment. The latest Point-in-Time Count shows a 13% spike from 2023 to 2024, with 3,410 souls counted roughing it or bunking in shelters—the highest since 2016, and that's probably lowballing it. Frontline warriors say it's the worst they've ever seen, with kids and over 55 folks making up 44% of the surge. Even in ritzy Fairfield County, amid McMansions and yacht clubs, people are crashing on couches or living out of Subarus. And get this: broader tallies from the Connecticut Coalition to End Homelessness peg the number at over 5,000. Yet, Lamont's approval rating? A cozy 63% as of July 2025, landing him sixth among U.S. governors. Sixty-three percent! Are these poll respondents brainwashed by MSNBC, too busy counting their stock options to notice the tent cities? Or do they actually approve of thousands freezing under bridges—hey, it keeps the riff-raff out of their gated communities? It's like giving your mechanic a five-star review while your car is on fire: "Great guy, love the air freshener!"
This is the rotten fruit of big-government liberalism, my friends. Decades of nanny-state nonsense—high taxes, endless regulations, welfare traps that crush the spirit—have turned the Nutmeg State into a dependency dystopia. Lamont vetoes real reforms, like cutting red tape for businesses or slashing taxes to let folks keep their hard-earned cash and instead funnels millions into band-aids like food banks. It's conservative nightmare fuel: reward failure, punish success, and watch poverty multiply like rabbits on welfare. No wonder homelessness is up for the third year running. If we want to end this mess, we need free-market magic: lower taxes to spark jobs, school choice to break the union stranglehold, and personal responsibility instead of perpetual handouts. But no, Lamont's too busy playing Santa with your wallet.
And voters? Buckle up for the 2026 clown car. On one side, you've got Lamont, the "moderate" Dem who's really just a wolf in sheep's clothing—taxing us into oblivion while homelessness explodes. On the other? Rabid progressives like State Rep. Josh Elliott, the Hamden firebrand who launched his gubernatorial bid in July 2025, vowing to crank the crazy dial to eleven. Elliott's plan? Tax the "wealthy" (read: anyone with a job) into the Stone Age to fund a socialist utopia—more dough for public schools (that already fail), mental health boondoggles, and municipal pork. He's pitching a 1-5% surcharge on the rich, but we all know it'll trickle down to your plumber and diner owner. Elect this guy, and Connecticut becomes a live-action "Oliver!" remake: hordes of citizens in rags, bowls outstretched, wailing, "Please, sir, I want some more... taxes? No, wait—more government porridge!" It'll be a tax-and-spend hellscape, where businesses flee faster than rats from a sinking ship, leaving us all begging for scraps in Elliott's workhouse wonderland.
Conservatives, where's our champion? We're stuck choosing between Lamont's slow socialist slide and Elliott's express train to bankruptcy. Either way, the joke's on the hardworking taxpayer, footing the bill for liberal largesse while the poor stay poor and the rich (like Lamont) stay insulated. Maybe next time the governor visits a food bank, he could try creating jobs instead of cutting ribbons.






