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Dear Senator Murphy,
Thank you for your recent mass email — a heartfelt confessional disguised as a policy newsletter. While it read like the political equivalent of a Facebook post written at 2 a.m. after watching too much MSNBC, I want to commend your vulnerability. Projection is the first step toward healing.
You seem deeply concerned about the erosion of civil liberties, the breakdown of law and order, economic instability, and rampant government overreach. I must say, we completely agree — though I was surprised to see you so boldly indicting your own party’s handiwork. That’s a brave first step, Senator.
Of course, blaming Republicans for the policies your side championed is classic Washington theater — but in your case, it’s starting to feel like a cry for help. And Dominic Rapini, Concerned Citizen™, is here to answer.
I’m assembling a GoFundMe to provide you with the professional counseling you so clearly need — perhaps with a specialist in Political Projection Disorder (PPD). It’s a rare but serious condition where one mistakes their own actions for those of others, often seen in career politicians and cable news contributors.
We’ll also be shipping you a pocket Constitution, a copy of Economics for Dummies, and a mirror — so the next time you go searching for who’s responsible, you won’t have to look too far.
Until then, we the citizens will continue doing what you seem unwilling to: solving problems without blaming everyone else, protecting free speech without censorship, and striving to preserve a country that works for everyone — even senators suffering from chronic delusion.
In patriotic concern,
Dominic Rapini
Concerned Citizen
Proud Owner of Common Sense and a Voter ID
If a democrat doesn't have hypocrisy, they don't have anything
Can we get a plumber up here? The Senator is leaking estrogen again and this time its POURING OUT by the bucketfuls!
I loved that!