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Seven UConn programs are finally getting the axe, and you’d think the administration had bulldozed the library and set fire to the mascot.
Gone are such in-demand moneymakers as Medieval Studies, Politics and Popular Culture, and an Obesity Prevention certificate (apparently obesity won the war). Another 70 programs are on life support, under “review” — the academic version of keeping a patient hooked up to machines long after everyone knows they’re gone.
The provost calls it “good academic housekeeping,” which is administrator-speak for “we’re broke.” UConn is staring at a $100 million deficit after the pandemic cash drip dried up, so someone finally realized maybe it’s not a great look to keep paying for PhDs in Feudalism while the roof leaks.
Programs were targeted if they had fewer graduates than your average bowling league — fewer than 100 undergrads over five years, fewer than 10 doctorates. That’s not a “niche” program. That’s a four-year book club with debt attached.
Enter an unnamed crybaby and TikTok philosopher from the 4Cs SEIU 1973 — the union representing over 4,000 higher-ed employees at Connecticut’s community colleges, Charter Oak State College, and the University of Hartford — now devastated over the loss of Medieval Studies.
“When you hear that UConn is cutting Medieval Studies, you might think, okay, that’s niche. Not many job postings for knights these days,” she begins, before solemnly informing us that college isn’t “just job training” — it’s about “shaping well-rounded, adaptable thinkers” who can “thrive in any career.” Which sounds lovely, until you remember taxpayers and students are the ones footing the bill for these life-affirming journeys into uselessness.
She gushes about “niche courses” that “stretch our minds” and “connect dots across disciplines,” which is higher-ed shorthand for four years of cosplay as a deep thinker before reality smacks you with rent.
In her world, cutting programs will make UConn less attractive to “faculty and students who bring fresh ideas and innovation.” Because nothing says “innovation” like producing another barista with $100,000 in student debt and an encyclopedic knowledge of medieval siege weaponry.
She insists the “next big breakthrough” might come from someone who blends “science with philosophy” or “business with history.” Sure. And my next million might come from winning the lottery while being abducted by aliens.
She warns that “when you turn college into only what’s practical in the moment, you create a workforce that’s trained for the jobs of today, not prepared for the jobs of tomorrow.” Which sounds deep until you realize tomorrow’s “jobs” probably won’t include “court jester” or “chief scroll illuminator.”
This isn’t about “narrowing minds.” It’s about finally ending the pet vanity projects of academic lifers who treat the university like their personal playground for impractical degrees. The jobs of tomorrow will not be handed to people whose résumés peak with a master’s in Medieval Studies and a minor in political fan fiction. Connecticut’s economy doesn’t need more “well-rounded thinkers” — it needs graduates with skills employers actually want.
SEIU 1973 can cry into their purple shirts all they want, but Connecticut isn’t an ATM for tenured hobbyists. The union can romanticize “well-rounded thinkers” until the last taxpayer leaves the state, but the bill always comes due — and it’s paid by the single mom working two jobs, not the professor teaching three students about feudal land rights. If these programs are so vital, let the union pass the plate to its 4,000 members and fund them themselves. Until then, UConn should keep swinging the axe — and not stop until the last taxpayer-subsidized fantasy major is history.
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