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June 14 — formerly known as Flag Day, when Americans take a moment to salute the stars and stripes — has now been unofficially rebranded by the nation’s most dedicated unemployed performance artists as “Red Flag Day”, a celebration of public tantrums, handcrafted signs, and confusing chants that even their organizers don’t fully understand.
Across Connecticut, 34 separate interpretive protests are planned, where a small but determined group of disenchanted interpretive dancers, grievance sommeliers, and TikTok philosophers will rally in passionate opposition to… well, anything that resembles functioning government, borders, or grown-up conversations.
These gatherings, lovingly referred to as Court Jester Conventions, are being held to express solidarity with career criminals, illegal border crossings, and anyone who’s ever tweeted “ACAB” while still calling 911 when their Starbucks mobile order gets skipped. The movement’s slogan? “No Jobs, No Peace.”
But fear not, Normies of America. There’s no need to argue with the fool circus. Remember what the great (and probably exasperated) Mark Twain said: “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Which is why the best course of action is not engagement, but documentation.
Yes, citizen journalists: grab your cameras, your phones, your emotional support telephoto lenses — and peacefully observe. Snap a few photos of the pageantry. Think: if Burning Man and a Civics D-minus had a baby. Then send them to [email protected] so we can lovingly curate this gallery of democracy’s blooper reel.
These images will be compiled into an official “Highlight Reel of Wokeness,” available to our federal candidates and state party leaders who prefer their political discourse with a side of reality and a dash of basic logic. Because while 19% of the country might think the justice system should only apply to people they don’t brunch with, 81% of Americans are done with the clown show.
So on June 14, go out. Watch. Record. Don’t poke the performers. And remember: we win by letting them speak for themselves — loudly, proudly, and incoherently.
Happy Red Flag Day. God Bless America — and pass the popcorn.
Send you BEST (ONE) Photo to [email protected]
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