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If only Raghib Allie-Brennan (D-Bethel) hadn’t voted to ban plastic bags, he might not have had to shoplift. That’s not exactly how he put it — but one of his excuses, after getting busted walking out of a Bethel Target with $26.69 worth of unpaid merchandise, was that the store didn’t have any bags.
Seriously. The same guy who helped kill off single-use bags is now blaming their absence for his sticky fingers — along with being in a rush and running errands for Grandma. It’s a page ripped straight from the Connecticut progressive playbook: ban it, blame capitalism, steal it anyway.
This would almost be funny if he hadn’t voted for the exact policy he’s now hiding behind. In 2019, the General Assembly passed a law imposing a 10-cent fee on single-use plastic bags, with a full ban taking effect in 2021. Allie-Brennan, then a freshman legislator eager to earn his environmental merit badge, backed it.
Retailers were forced to comply, ditching plastic and pushing shoppers toward overpriced paper sacks or virtue-signaling tote bags big enough to carry Greta Thunberg’s ego. This isn’t just hypocrisy — it’s eco-hypocrisy, the smug, reusable kind.
But don’t worry — he’s very sorry. According to Allie-Brennan, this wasn’t shoplifting — it was a tragic comedy of errors brought on by not having bags, time constraints, and a trip to see Grandma.
“During a recent visit to the Bethel Target, two items in my armload of others were not scanned. I was in a rush to bring items to my grandmother in the hospital, the store didn’t have bags, and I was juggling multiple purchases,” he said in a statement to the press.
Apparently, when you’re in a rush, basic checkout protocols no longer apply — especially when there are no bags to hold your stolen items, thanks to a law you voted for.
Allie-Brennan stated that he does not have a prior record, takes full responsibility for the error, and is working through the “legal process” to resolve the matter.
He added that he respects the law and Target’s right to enforce its policies, and that he remains committed to serving his community with transparency and integrity.
Additionally, he says he respects the law and Target’s right to enforce its policies — a curious stance from a Democrat, given that his party has spent years minimizing theft, emptying jails, and treating actual crime like a minor inconvenience.
This isn’t just about a bag ban, this is about a politician who thinks the laws don’t apply to him. The modern progressive sees rules as tools — to lecture us peasants, not to follow themselves.
If Connecticut Democrats had any shame left, they’d stuff this guy in a recycled paper bag and send him packing. But we all know how this ends. He’ll say it was a teachable moment, post a selfie with a reusable bag, and be back on the House floor in no time.
And just like that, the party that tries to ban plastic straws, scolds you for using a gas stove, and lectures suburban moms about environmental justice gave us a lawmaker who couldn’t figure out how to legally leave a Target. No one's rushing to defend him yet — but give it time.
Maybe next session, Allie-Brennan can propose a new law: shoplifting is fine as long as you blame climate change. In Connecticut, the only thing more reusable than a canvas tote bag is a Democrat’s excuse — but even the tote bag eventually wears out.
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