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I had a phone conversation this week with a staffer from Senator Henry Martin’s office — and what I learned shook me. Not because of anything she said, but because of what she didn’t know.

When I mentioned “autogynephilia,” she paused.

She had never heard the term before.

This wasn’t a Democrat. This wasn’t a progressive activist. This was a Republican woman — someone who should be on the front lines protecting female-only spaces.

And in that moment, it hit me: Women’s safety in Connecticut is failing because the very people writing our laws have never been told the truth about AGP.

That silence puts every vulnerable woman at risk.

What AGP Actually Is — The Part Nobody Tells Lawmakers

AGP — autogynephilia — is not gender identity.

It is a male sexual fetish where a man becomes aroused by imagining himself as a woman. It is not about “living authentically.” It is about sexual excitement attached to:

• being treated as female
• being in women’s private spaces
• being seen as a woman
• pushing into areas meant for vulnerable women

AGP behavior is about control, validation, and arousal, not identity.

But because lawmakers don’t know the difference, nonprofits play dumb, activists stay quiet, and predators walk right in.

Let’s Be Honest: Forcing Women To Be Around AGP Is Sexual Exploitation

Here’s what no one wants to put in print — but I will:

When an AGP male enters a women’s shelter, recovery meeting, or DV program, every woman in that room is being forced into his sexual fantasy without her consent.

That is sexual exploitation.

And in many cases, it qualifies as non-contact sexual assault.

The law already recognizes sexual offenses that do not require touching:

• exposure
• voyeurism
• sexual intimidation
• coercing someone into a sexually charged environment

When a woman can’t leave because she’ll lose housing or services, and a man is in the room because it arouses him, that woman is being victimized by policy.

She didn’t consent. She can’t opt out. And she’s told she’s “bigoted” if she feels unsafe.

That is abuse — institutionalized abuse.

The Phone Call That Exposed A Dangerous Blind Spot

Back to that moment on the phone.

The staffer was polite, thoughtful, genuinely trying to learn.

But the fact that she — and almost every Republican woman in the legislature — has never even heard of AGP is exactly why this crisis has spiraled.

Because while lawmakers are kept in the dark, predators are fully educated. They know the language to use. They know the loopholes. They know the policies nonprofits won’t question.

We now have a system where:

• predators understand AGP better than legislators
• nonprofits use “inclusion” as a shield
• victims are punished or silenced
• grievance reports are withheld
• women’s fears are dismissed
• staff feel pressured to protect abusers rather than clients

Women simply cannot be protected when the people writing policy have no idea what danger looks like.

Why This Matters for Connecticut

Women in DV shelters, recovery housing, and homeless programs are the most vulnerable in our state. They have:

• trauma histories
• PTSD
• fear of men
• limited resources
• nowhere else to go

And instead of protecting them, our system is unintentionally funneling male sexual behavior directly into their safe spaces — then demanding that women stay quiet about it.

The message is clear: His fantasy matters more than her safety.

What Must Change Right Now

1. Women’s spaces must be protected by biological sex, not identity.

No man — regardless of language or label — should be placed in a room full of traumatized women.

2. Lawmakers must be briefed on AGP.

Especially Republican women. They cannot defend women if they do not understand the threat.

3. Nonprofits must stop hiding grievance documents.

If public money funds them, transparency is not optional.

4. AGP must be separated from transgender identity in policy conversations.

One is dysphoria. One is fetish. Confusing the two is dangerous.

5. Women’s rights cannot be overridden by anyone’s sexual gratification.

Period. Full stop.

Women Deserve Leaders Who Know the Truth

That phone conversation showed me something I cannot forget: Women’s safety is not being undermined by malice. It’s being undermined by ignorance, silence, and fear of naming the problem.

AGP is real. It is widespread. And it is being allowed into places where women should be safest.

The truth may make people uncomfortable. It should.

Because the women living in shelters and DV housing aren’t just uncomfortable — they’re afraid.

And until lawmakers understand AGP, their fear will only grow.

Women deserve better. Connecticut deserves better. And it starts with telling the truth — even over a simple phone call.

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